So what do we do when we’ve been so succinctly placed on the alter and sacrificed for the sake of someone’s reputation, image, social standing, or just plain mean streak.  How do we respond when we’ve been flung under the bus?

Human nature screams DEFENSE! You know what that feels like — everything is cruising along, all is well with the world, and *wham* — someone says or does something that makes you physically pull back in disbelief.  You know the feeling, the double take that makes you stop and do a quick rewind to what just happened.  It feels like a verbal slap, and when you’re being slapped you either want to slap back or duck, depending on how risk averse you are. Unfortunately, in the workplace, we can do neither without consequences. And let’s face it, some are better at handling conflict “in the moment” than others. So we often say nothing and brood, gossip, snipe at someone else, or plot some type of evil revenge, even if we never plan on carrying out our diabolical plot.

For those of us who have been verbally tossed under the wheels, take heart — most of us have been there.  To address it, you will need to put your emotions in check, because I’m sure you’re not going to want to give the tosser additional ammo. So how do we not succumb to the urge to get even or depressed?

Probably the most sage advice I’ve ever found has been in the Crucial Conversations/Confrontation series by Vital Smarts.  I haven’t found any better techniques than I have found in these two books. If you’ll forgive my paraphrasing, the first step is to humanize the problem. By asking ourselves why a normal, rational, intelligent person would behave in such a way forces us to look away from our own hurt and dismay to take a second look at the situation from the other’s point of view. This exercise also helps to redirect our emotions to something a little more positive that making an effigy of the individual and sticking it with pins.  If you can assign reasons rather than blame you are more than halfway to the point of being able to deal with the problem. At some point you will need to make the decision to confront or to let go.  If you choose to let it go, you need to be ok with how you feel about that choice.  If it starts to really eat at you, then probably letting it go was not the best course of action.  This means at some point you will need to address the issue with the bus tosser. So how do we begin the conversation — it starts with us. Click here for a great video on how to begin a difficult conversation.

More on this topic in the next post.

There is one resolution I want to share that I promise to you and myself that I will keep (you can hold me to it). I want to focus my posts on those subjects that will enlighten, encourage, and empower you to be better at whatever you do.  Of course, this will be related to HR and all its twists and turns, but one thing is for sure, we all share something central — our brains. Since I am pursing my doctorate in organizational and brain-based leadership, this blog is a perfect forum to make the abstract practical.

Since 1995, neuroscience has blasted to the forefront with the advent of the fmri, which allows us to see the brain in action while awake.  It has had profound consequences to the way we understand and interpret human behavior. And we in HR, aren’t we students of human behavior? I hope so, because understanding motivation and behavior should be central to how we conduct our business.

A book I highly recommend to you if you are interested in how this all works at work is Your Brain at Work by David Rock. He coined the phrase “neuroleadership” and has been a major influencer in my choice of doctoral tracks.  For an introduction, I recommend you watch this video.  You’ll think differently about thinking!

Clipart courtesy of iclipart.com

Image courtesy of iclipart.com

There has been a lot of media buzz about our online presence – make sure we have lots of Klout, make a difference, influence others; but we leave a trail behind us if in a moment of indiscretion we post something that we later regret.  Unfortunately, at conventions, we are in the flesh, in living color, and there for all to see – and remember – and tweet – and photograph …. I still remember one convention in which an individual got on stage with the evening entertainment, and at one point danced and lowered her pants enough to reveal a very thin tan line, along with other accoutrements.  Quite a view for over 1,000 people.  Try as I might, I cannot get that vision out of my head.  Now, whenever I see her, well, you know …. Hard to erase that image.

Do I want us to have a good time – ABSOLUTELY!  I want us to unwind, let our hair down, enjoy the freedom of our friends, the event, and revel in being away from the office. We just need to be mindful that people can and do watch, and we want to maintain an unsullied reputation.  You never know who might interview you for your next position ….

What exactly is engagement?  We use the term, but it helps to dig down into its meaning.  Engagement is, according to Dr. Johnson, “an individual’s sense of purpose and focused energy, evident to others in the display of personal initiative, adaptability, effort, and persistence directed toward organizational goals.” The study clearly demonstrated that there are key differences between what drives engagement in organizational leadership as opposed to the organization’s employees.  Perhaps that explains the huge disconnect that I have personally noticed of the misconceptions of satisfaction between leaders and employees.  This misunderstanding leads to assumptions about what the other thinks and knows.  And – many times, as I was, we are dead wrong.  If we rely on bad information, then our actions just multiply the issues and frustrations created by misled presumptions.  Make sense?

The study also underscores the concept that engagement is driven from the top.  So, if leaders are disengaged and interventions are build around the assumptions that “one size engagement activities fits all,” then the effort is likely to fail.  If we don’t try to assess and build engagement of our senior leadership, then, according to the researcher, “building higher levels of engagement across the organization will be highly unlikely.”

Lessons learned – pay attention to what your leaders want and need to be engaged.  Make sure you aren’t falling into the trap of assuming that leaders are engaged or that they even know what it is that engages them.  Don’t take for granted that if an intervention worked for employees, the same intervention will work for senior leaders.  Remember, it flows downhill, so if leaders are engaged and satisfied, then employees are likely to benefit tremendously.

To read the study yourself, visit http://gradworks.umi.com/3452769.pdf

All the preparation in the world can never prepare you for the shock of the real thing. You’ll never know if you’re truly ready until it happens and all those preparations and plans come off the shelves and into real life.  Imagine your office drenched from ceiling to floor with a steady flow of water dripping through the ceiling.  What do you have out that would be ruined?  What would be safe?  Where would you move until repairs were completed?  Would you be able to continue working?  These and more questions we faced as many employees cut short their holiday celebrations to begin to work on the devastation.  Adrenaline kicked into high gear, and people began to show the stuff they were made of and took charge.  Much praise goes out to those who were first responders, particularly since this is the worst disaster ever to strike our organization in its 50 year history.   Even hurricanes had spared this office, even though four of them had our area in their sites in 2004.

As we began the recovery efforts, I began to notice an amazing transformation.  People were talking to each other, helping each other, joking with each other.   Departments have merged with others, taking every spare desk, closet, lobby, or alcove as makeshift office space.  We’re seeing faces we haven’t seen in years.  And we were interacting, sharing, helping, breaking down our self-made silos and building relationships.  Has it been hard – of course it has.  Any time there is major change, we are challenged to our limits to adapt and roll with the changes, particularly changes over which we have no control.  People have the opportunity to step up to the plate and show what they’re really capable of doing, above and beyond their normal job duties.  We’ve developed a new sense of community that we might not have ever experienced otherwise.

Would I recommend a disaster to bring folks together?  Absolutely not!  But, if we look for the positive impact of disruptive change, maybe we might be more prone to shake things up a bit every so often.  It’s nice to be secure, but sometimes we can become too secure and entrenched.  I see the outcome of this upheaval as a positive one for my organization.  Yes it is inconvenient, annoying, and frustrating sometimes as we get accustomed to the swelled population or our remaining buildings.  But the positive results of drawing us together towards a common purpose might never have been realized without this event that rocked us to our core.

We do a lot in employment interviews to try to ferret out the ones who have a hard time with ambiguity — now notice I didn’t say hate it, but did say have a hard time with it. We can really, really dislike circumstances, but can learn to develop coping strategies to get us through those dreaded times. It’s not a good thing if ambiguity makes you freeze or want to run. It’s pretty much an occupational hazard, and a competency that is becoming more and more a necessity than an nicety.

Some of our co-workers and managers are better communicators that anothers. Some have a knack outlining the 5 w’s – who, what, where, when, and why — helping us grasp the compelling reason for the assignment. But, what do we do when we get that uncomfortable, gnawing feeling that we don’t quite have everything we need to produce a quality work product? How do we confront these nebulous, amorphous, intangible, “what the heck am I doing” moments?

Look for “tells”

Probably one of the most important strategies if we think we’re on the receiving end of a “huh?” assignment includes listening and watching for “tells” — those little unconscious, unspoken giveaways that the other person doesn’t really know what they’re looking for. Listen for — “I want something like” … or “I’ve never done this before, but I’ll know what I want it to read when I see it,” or better yet, “give me you best shot and we’ll take it from there.” This should invoke strategy #2:

Ask Questions

Before you leave scratching your head wondering if you’ll be able to pull it off, ask a few questions. Starting off with “So what I hear you saying is that you want …..” …. or “what would you think if I came back with an outline and we review it to be sure we’re both on the same track?”

If you’re the giver of such an ill-defined assignment, try to give as much direction and encouragement as possible to the recipient, as well as some coaching and counsel about the purpose of the assignment. Most times, when we know the “why,” we can better define the “how.” In this instance, the more information the better. Also, point your employee in the direction of where to find information if you don’t have it yourself. This has to be a joint effort — a stretch assignment for both of you if it’s truly a first time effort. You don’t want this to come back to haunt you.

Be Sure Your Not Setting Yourself or Your Employee Up to Fail

If we’re not careful, we can set someone up to fail big time. I’ve seen that happen, and it is ugly. As managers and employees, failure can teach us a lot. But I’d rather fail because there wasn’t any other option, than to find out later that I didn’t have to if I had just had a little more information.

This is a self help post … but not what you might expect. I’m going to tell you some of the mistakes I see frequently that will almost automatically put you in the “no” pile. Never fear, there’s still time to change your ways if you are guilty of any of these faux pas ….

• Not reading the employer’s instructions on how to apply for a position
  • Some use their own website
  • Some use a job board
  • Some require applications
  • Some will accept résumés
• If you are a walk in, not treating the administrative staff nice, and being sure you look (and smell) nice
• Not really understanding what you’re applying for and relying just on the job title.
  • For example, a project manager may not be in construction, it just might be in information technology
  • You need to relate your experience to the employer’s needs. Just because you’re a whiz on the computer doesn’t mean you can take over the security area of our IT Infrastructure!
• Not providing enough contact information for us to contact you – either a phone number or email would be nice. You may be a killer candidate, but if I can’t contact you, guess what?
• Not checking your spelling and grammar
  • Knead I sae moer?
• Using cut and paste, and not checking the details. I annoys me when I get an application from an applicant who refers to the wrong position at the wrong company.
• Leaving holes or gaps in your résumé or your application … let’s see, was that the short jail sentence you didn’t tell me about??
• Don’t do something cutsie, like send me flowers, CDs, artwork …. I can’t be bribed.

I’m sure that you all have your own stories, either mistakes or hints and tips for job seekers. Let’s pass on information that will help more folks get the jobs they need and want.

After too long of a hiatus away from my blog, I have returned with a year’s worth of thoughts and ideas that I want to share with you and get your input. This past year has been anything but normal, but if I hear the phrase “new normal” again, I think I might throw my book Dictionary of Corporate B*** S*** at the unwitting perpetrator. Not really, but I think we are all in a period of recalibration of our focus as HR professionals. We are under considerable stress and scrutiny no not only justify our own existence, but also provide meaningful information to our executive staff by which they can make intelligent decisions as we work on setting a new strategic course.

Public Sector Impacts

Although it seemed that the private sector took the first assault wave from the market crash, the public sector workforce contingent has also had a huge wake up call. Between wage decreases, freezes furlough, and layoffs, the once supposedly “cushy” government employment is anything but, at least in my world.  And yet, because our funding is from taxpayers, we seen to incur the ire and myopic review of an even greater constituency. Our stakeholders include our taxed public, politicians, special interest groups, Board Members, Commissioners, or other governing bodies. We are more under the microscope than ever.  Florida’s Governor Scott recently commented on how much money has been saved by not providing merit increases to state employees for the past 5 years, and is proposing more draconian cuts in the future. With 4 billion dollar shortfall, it is imperative that the state make some major concessions.  However, I am sure that, as a recruiter, and from the information that flows across my desk, that we may see a mass exodus from the state employment ranks as soon as the greening of the grass in the private sector truly takes root and appears to be a heck of a better deal than to continually lose ground wage wise – with no end in sight. IMHO,  one of Governor’s Scott’s objectives should be to maintain key institutional knowledge, and not watch it walk out the door as he make massive and potentially damaging changes to Florida state government employment.

Those who have the FRS as their golden handcuffs will have some hard decisions to make. Personally, I believe that the Florida Retirement System, one of the soundest retirement funds in the US, is in the crosshairs of the legislature, and will not go untouched in the next session or two of the Florida legislature. The impact is making many employees very nervous. Many long-tenured employees are retiring before they take any perceived hits in their future retirement income, entering into DROP before the legislature eviscerates that program, and are making moves to the Florida’s investment plan (right now a non-contributory defined contribution plan) from the traditional pension plan as they see the future of defined benefit retirement plans going the way of the Dodo.

Am I saying that public employment can’t improve? Absolutely not. However, we as humans resist change. Change management is not just a buzz phrase; it’s a real process that helps to achieve the ultimate goal of improvement.  I’ve always found that engaging those impacted into the change, creating a compelling vision for the future and what the changes will accomplish, and giving those affected a say in the changes that will impact them personally and professionally will assist these change efforts to be better accepted. Change imposed will be resisted. Having a say in the process will help lead to better acceptance and ultimately better outcomes.

Public or private…we are moving into an era where it will no longer be business as usual. But isn’t this the normal cycle of our economy? Think back to the early 2000s and then back to the early 1980s, didn’t we go through a recalibration then? Don’t we need some type of shake up to be sure that we don’t stay complacent and rely on the way we’ve always conducted business? Bob Dylan wrote “The Times they are A Changin’” back in 1963 and the lyrics are worth reading now. They are as timeless as some of our precious artifacts, and as meaningful as our most learned philosophers. Dylan understood that change was inevitable, and that there were moments in history that would completely alter the way we lived, thought, conducted business, and changed our world. Let’s use what we have learned over the past two years to improve a system that was in so many ways flawed and dysfunctional. Let’s be part of the change we want to see happen.